Comedian hire in Australia: the complete guide

Comedy is the only act on this site that can fail in silence. A band playing to a half-interested room still sounds like a band. A comedian playing to that same room is standing alone in the quiet, and everybody can hear it. That risk is exactly why hiring one well is worth a bit of thought, because the version that goes right is the thing people quote back to each other for years.

Prices below come live from the comedians listed here. The spread is mostly about set length and how much preparation the job demands, and a short spot after dinner is a genuinely different purchase from a headline hour.

City by city figures are in the table underneath this. A comedian is one person with a microphone, so there is no lineup cost the way there is with a band, and the figure you see is usually buying a set of a fixed length rather than a whole evening. That is why comedy often comes in under what people brace themselves for.

The upper end of the range tends to cover longer sets, travel outside the capitals, or performers who also carry the night as MC. Set length is the first thing to pin down in an enquiry, because everything else in the quote hangs off it.

Twenty minutes is the workhorse. It is long enough for a comedian to build something and short enough that a room full of food and drink stays with them the whole way. Anything approaching an hour is a headline slot, and it needs an audience that has come to watch rather than an audience that happens to be there.

Be honest with yourself about which one your event is. A birthday where people will drift to the bar suits a tight twenty. A club night or a comedy fundraiser where chairs face a stage can carry the longer set, and paying for it is money well spent.

Comedy needs a low ceiling, close seating and light on the performer. A wide function room with guests scattered at round tables kills laughs simply because nobody can hear anybody else laughing, and laughter is contagious or it is nothing. Pull the chairs in. Kill the background music. Get the lights down in the room and up on the performer.

Sound matters more than it does for music. A comedian relies on timing, and a delay or a squeal in the middle of a punchline takes the whole thing down. If your venue has a house system, ask the performer whether it will do, and ask early enough to hire something if it will not.

Australian stand-up runs the full spread, from clean observational material to sets built entirely on swearing. Neither is better. They just suit different rooms. Ask directly what the working set looks like, and ask for footage from a gig that resembles yours rather than a best-of reel cut together from festival crowds.

Say who is in the room. Ages, whether staff are there with partners, whether anyone is being farewelled or roasted, and anything that is genuinely off limits. A professional will work with that brief without resenting it, and the ones who push back on every boundary are telling you something useful.

Plenty of comedians will also host your night, running the raffle, the awards and the introductions between their own material. It is often better value than booking a set and a separate host, and the night feels like it has a spine rather than a series of segments.

The catch is that hosting is a different skill from performing. A comedian who is funny for twenty minutes may not be the person you want reading names off a list for two hours. Ask whether they host regularly and what they need from your run sheet.

What length is the set, and what does a second spot cost? Is the material clean, and how clean? Is there video of you at a function rather than a festival? Do you need a microphone and lighting from us, or do you carry your own? And where does this sit in the night, because after speeches is a different job from after dessert.

Ask about travel too. Comedy is thinner outside the big cities, and a performer coming from a capital may quote for flights or a night's accommodation rather than a drive.